Fashion Victims

Some folks think of public defenders as disheaveled and sleepy eyed, with shoulderless frames from which hang cheap suits. On the other hand, the public image of a private defense attorney is of a shark-like dude with slicked back hair and an expensive Italian suit with a bit too much sheen to it. Then there's the fairytale image of a criminal defense investigator as either a sexy woman in a trench coat and stillettos, or a not so sexy, cigar smoking, overweight ex-cop. Most of the people who do this kind of work don't fit into these neat little cubbie holes. In fact, some defense attorneys' unique grooming choices have become their calling card. Examples of this, by category, are:

HATS - No one wore a hat better or bigger than the late Gladys Towles Root. She died inside a courtroom in Pomona in 1982, wearing all gold. My mother served as a juror on a rape trial where Ms. Root represented the defendant. The defendant was acquitted, no easy feat where my mother was concerned, but Ms. Root made her case. Ms. Root would be proud that her tradition of wearing hats lives on in Cincinatti criminal defense attorney Les Gaines. Love that derby!

BOWTIES - Best examples of this are: Gerry Schwartzbach , of Robert Blake and Keenan counsel fame, and Stephen Rosen, "sage" of the San Francisco Public Defender's office. Stephen is also the proud husband of a female criminal defense investigator.

FRINGED LEATHER JACKETS - Gerry Spence. Author of the best of the O.J. books imo. There's something I have always wondered tho: does he own several different coats of the same style, or is he always wearing the same exact coat? I suppose I could always email him.

HAWAIIAN SHIRTS - Magnum PI wore these on the mean streets of Hawaii, but defense attorney Jon Rankin wears them with ties in the Frank Lloyd Wright-designed courtrooms of Marin.

HANDLEBAR MOUSTACHES - I've seen a few of these on California defense attorneys, tho in searching the web, at least one of them in San Diego is now down to just a bushy moustache. This was the trademark of Johnny B. Mostiler, the lone Public Defender of Spalding County, Georgia, who died of a heart attack on April Fool's Day of 2000. He was also known for driving around in a mustard green 1972 El Dorado. What I wouldn't do for a photo of him to post. Here's one living example of a handlebar moustache tho: Ed A. Loss. I wonder if he's the same person as this handlebar moustached Ed Loss.

MEN WITH LONG HAIR AND PONY TAILS - This is almost like the defense "uniform." It's mandatory that every public defender's office has a few guys with hair below the collar. Here is just a small, small sampling of what's out there: Michael Yamamoto (no photo, search as I might), the temporarily unlicensed Tony Serra, Solano County Chief Deputy Public Defender Michael Ogul, Harvard boxer Thomas Mesereau, and Yolo County's Barry "the Fish" Melton (at least in spirit).

SPATS - yep, I saved the most flamboyant for last. Recently, a young male public defender in Los Angeles took to wearing spats to court. Rumors abound as to what exactly happened, but last I heard, he had gone back to classic oxfords. There was some public outcry as to freedom of expression. My take on this is, hey, whatever works for your clients.

As a field investigator, my own fashion of choice is a pair of khaki chinos, a simple cotton shirt, a funky necklace and a sensible pair of shoes. Nothing flashy, but hopefully not dowdy either.

I can't think of anything too outlandish that I've seen worn by fellow c.d. investigators, which is why I picked on the attorneys for this post. There's an investigator from San Francisco whom I've never seen without his thin leather vest on, but that's about as predictable as we investigators get.